Top Ten Issues That Make Men Happy

Ten items that Every man wants, No Matter What

Pop society wants to represent us men just like the easier from the varieties; monosyllabic, sex-obsessed knuckle-draggers, possessing most of the depth of a kiddie share; most of the predictability of an event. Ply us with beer, pulled chicken, UFC, and/or breasts, and we also’re putty in your hands, right?

Wrong. We are sophisticated, unpredictable, super-complicated snowflakes — the preferences more diverse, much more amazing than a goddamn Oriental bazaar. Simple truth is, we are so multi-layered it’s going to bump you on the ass.

Here, subsequently, is actually a listing 10 of the things that make all of us pleased, and prepare become surprised or, maybe not surprised at all because, like we mentioned, we’re unstable.

1) Feats Of Non-Strength

Darts. Horseshoes. Ladder Toss. Beyond the hallowed areas of play are the hallowed parking lots and backyards of drink, and in which indeed there end up being beverage, there shall be tasks — non-athletic tasks, nonetheless needing superior ability, but minus the chance of elevating center prices or busting sweats. These pursuits in addition manage united states a totally free hand to put up all of our drink and/or fist-bump and/or high-five, to ensure that causes it to be even more awesome. 

2) You Constructed That!

Through the manly pleasure you felt after sculpting that crap-tacular Mother’s time porcelain ashtray circa 1994 Arts & Crafts, to gazing in joyful admiration at your basic diaper-destroying poo, to building your own girlfriend’s Ikea MALM, we all have been hardwired to lie for the delight to build something; The pleasure of end. (A corollary of the may be the Joy of Demolition, specifically because applies to foolish Ikea home furniture.)

3) “driving It Down”

That’s what comedian Bill Burr phone calls the exercise of a guy attempting, at all costs, in order to maintain their composure, denying themselves any exhibition of feeling, in one particular terrible of situations, in which it would normally end up being completely permissible so that free with a ridiculous whimper or, as situations dictated, a banshee wail. But a guy does not allow themselves these types of indulgences. Are clear: it’s not the bottling up of our own very own feelings that produces you pleased; it’s the without having to suffer through another man’s psychological outburst that brings you the real joy. Basically actually want to experience feeling, it’ll be personal, and it’s really when I cue right up that Volkswagen business making use of Darth Vader kid — it will get myself every time.

4) Just how can We Put This Politely… 

whatever you decide and call it — a hummer, a beej, fellatio, oral pleasure — it generally does not require a lot description. The systematic reason behind the reason why it truly makes us delighted is really because all of our enjoyment locations get rocked like a goddamn hurricane. The psychological explanation is the fact that we obtain a front line chair to a lady we no less than kind of like becoming extremely gross for all of us, and us alone. Which makes you ecstatic. Various other news, flame is hot.

5) Intelligence Masquerading As Stupidity Masquerading As Intelligence

There’s reasons the brilliant creators of this likes of Ron Burgundy, Kenny Powers and Homer Simpson have very completely taken our very own hearts: viewing a sensible actor pretend he’s a person thus stupid he feels he is a wizard is merely awfully satisfying. Providing people with such a powerful blend of arrogance and ineptitude is, combined with jazz, the fantastic US artform. Their own antics will be the way to obtain hours and hours of one’s delight and, to estimate Mr. Burgundy: “do not act like you are not satisfied.”

6) McGuyvering

It’s somewhat connected with the “developing a things” thing, however the heart of McGuyvering is more about a person’s instinct to improvise and fix whatever needs fixing with all the restricted sources offered, additionally the much more unusual the solution, the better. Most of these solutions perform eventually give up but, until they actually do, there is a distinct feeling of euphoria we experience, understanding we been able to correct that moped/toilet/rollerblades/Xbox control with nothing but all of our clean arms, energy of might, and a metric ton of duct recording.

7) TVs In Random Places

This brings together our satisfaction of watching shiny situations with this passion for gadgetry, blended in using ethos to do things due to the fact we are able to, guy: from Dick Tracy’s initial television wristwatch, to Elvis’ notorious television graveyard/target selection, to basically every episode of that featured a television within a vehicle’s sunlight visors/headrest/center console/hubcaps, to the people lodge bathroom mirrors with, you guessed it, embedded mini TVs; they are all awesome and come up with you laugh.

8) your pet dog sporting Sunglasses, sitting on A Surfboard


We have no idea, but that response to what makes a man smile is actually, in many cases, “looking at a photo of a puppy with shades on a surfboard.” There’s periodically some difference — it might alternatively be a skateboard, or perhaps the sunglasses could possibly be substituted for a monocle, but that will be less possible obviously. Aim being, the consensus isn’t any some other image, lacking His Excellency The Pope, or possibly Jesus, or Lemmy from Motörhead rocking out so damn hard, garners much more smiles versus dog/surfboard combo. It’s just the “Damn bro, performed I absolutely simply extract this off? I assume used to do,” expression about pet’s face. He is carrying it out for all of us. He is sporting, he’s down for a great time, but guy is chill about this. If you’re a person and cannot laugh at this, that person might be damaged and I’m sorry.

9) lightweight Things

Portability obviously indicates to be able to carry the awesomeness of your favorite thing and, by doing this, supplying joy wherever you choose to go. Battleship had been the maximum board game previously. (I’ve been advised Candyland has also been excellent but we never played it because the assumption felt unlikely) But Travel Battleship? Actually much cooler — cooler than wake-surfing behind the U.S.S. Nimitz. Bongs are very cool. The mobile snowboard restoration package that changes into a miniature one-hitter? Ice cold. Personalized chopper bike? Quite cool. Minibike? Miles-fist-bumping-Elvis degrees of cool. Barbecue cigarette smoker? Fairly rad and probably precisely why the terrorists dislike all of us. Barbecue cigarette smoker connected to a trailer hitch, ready when it comes to open highway? Exactly why the terrorists won’t win.

RELATED READING: Top 10 Signs You’re Actually, Wait For It, Crazy

10) Repetition, Repetition

The inside laugh or discussed anecdote is actually a sweet and intoxicating thing — like an excellent swig of Kentucky Bourbon. But the sly and constant call-back to said anecdote, actually, say, a decade later? Well, that there’s your Lagavulin unmarried malt — suitably elderly and that much more gratifying. Such as that amount of time in 2006 once buddy Jer showed up to an outdoor barbecue in his unnecessarily short shorts. Endless entertaining statements ensued about Jer’s “nice calves” and “epic upper thighs” — also it without a doubt could not end here. Also many years afterwards, the topic of Jer’s Killer Gams however pops up — also at his wedding toast — getting laughter and pleasure to many guys.

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